Extinguished

I set myself on fire wanted to burn myself to ashes but you wouldn’t let me. You came in trying to extinguish my flames first water, next foam then gas but nothing was quite enough. Nothing could stop the burning emptiness inside, a hollow chest, a heart that was only beating. I yearned to feel the burning so I filled myself with toxic substances and managed to feel it only on water with a crowd of support around me. Scarred from a numbness where the world was grey, no black, no white, no colour. The gas and the water and foam just detached the flames further away from anything I had ever known. No joy no pain no sadness just a heart beating but not feeling just a brain begging to feel something other than numb. Tears spilt for no reason other than it was all I wanted to do. In the process of trying to burn myself so I could finally feel, I burnt you too, I only singed myself but I wanted to set myself alight to feel alive again and that my heart was beating for a reason. I never meant to burnt you, you was supposed to come out me with water and then extinguish but you never did.

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