Circle line

Stepping carefully down the slippery steps of the station down to the platform not wanting to fall in to you. Treading carefully behind the yellow line to mind the gap and debating which carriage to take not committed yet. 

Jumping on and our train blasts off like a bullet, going so fast, I can’t catch a breath. Inevitably, our train eventually derailed, too far, too quick. 

We got on different trains to avoid colliding again but eventually gained courage to mind our way when descending to the platform. 

Rush hour pushed us in to one another and resurrected us and just as suddenly, the darkness of the tunnel hit us. 

But that’s the thing darling, the circle line always was my favourite. 

Stoplights

This one is for my Daddy who picked me up after every shift and every social gathering if he could always, who moves me from house to house in Sheffield and always drives to see me. ❤

We approach the roundabout and the lights go red,
you’ll be moaning about people only using one lane.
But it is the perfect time of day for us to stop,
we admire the iridescent colours of the sky as the sun decides where to end the day,

We’ll be talking about our jobs,

or Mum and Rich, you’ll give me advice

or maybe we’ll be have the radio turned up and

be singing along to I Wanna Know What Love Is

at the tops of our voices,

or perhaps you’ll be whistling the tune &

I’ll sing along to Zip pe doo dah

and it will have been a wonderful day

even if it’s just for this end bit,

dinner will be on the table

and Mum will be watching her soaps

but before all that, before the chores,

we witness a sun setting and conclude

our separate day’s events together,

just us in the Astra with the sun,

at some red lights about to join everyone else

returning from a day of work to homes

full of love and homecooked food.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flying

Since forever, I have wanted my super power to be flying, whenever I got asked what it would be if I was a superhero.

I have always looked up and admired the way planes paint those white lines through a fresh blue sky and always wonder where they are from, where they are going and whether those on them are jetting off to somewhere exotic, going on a business trip or returning home from an adventure. I feel excited for them, for fresh pastures are always full of opportunity yet there is nothing quite like coming home and wrapping your arms around your loved ones. Planes fill my head with possibilities of the stories of the people on them and  have always loved the idea of zooming off a runway, ascending high in to the sky then hitting the ground in another place entirely quite possibly in another timezone or climate.

I incessantly envy the birds for their ability to take off and land wherever, to create a home in a blue sky one day and a nest by the sea the next. They have the chance to fly solo or as a flock and to sit proudly as a group on rooftops or pylons witnessing the air above as the sun, stars and moon come out to play. They can lift their wings and soar high to chase whatever it is they want, be it a tasty worm or a beautiful mate.

Flying seems like such a freedom with the ability to create homes in a number of places.

 

 

Cold Coffee

The sun has returned from its hiatus and gleams on the front of cars

And it makes me miss you, cos you are summer to me,

you remind me of fresh white linen and sun blazing through the blinds,

fruit juice on those lazy mornings,

my eyes open just to see your cute sleepyness

when I woke up in our world,

my eyes stay open because its better

than anything I could ever dream,

we find the clothes we peeled off each other

head to the kitchen and I grin at the two cold coffees

that we never found the time to drink last night,

too distracted by each other’s bodies,

spurred on by an intrigue in each other’s minds,

now there’s just one steaming coffee on the side

and nobody come to hug from behind

to steer me back to bed.

 

Young & Alive: Skip

In a drunken haze, I spun around and you were calling my name, it took my eyes a while to find you. There you were, stood amongst all the other party goers in the darkness of a warm Saturday night on West Street. Jokingly greeting me with a nickname, I’d aquired the previous year, we hugged and for some reason, climbed upon a skip. Sitting on the board protecting the contents from the elements, we talked, I don’t really know what about and I don’t know how long for.  But for a time, the world felt like it was ours as we people watched the drunken passers by and a soberness suddenly hit, we weren’t drunk and excitable any more but real and calm as the conversation got deeper. One of those moments where we could feel the world going on around us but our lives had hit the pause button just to be there in that moment.

All I know now is that I feel, you haven’t really lived if you haven’t had an interlude on a night out and sat on a skip at 1am with a friend in the midst of revellers feeling content with life.

Chemistry lessons

You told me I could tell you anything, that you cared about me always even though I warned you I was messy yet somehow you made me feel enough and that I was protected and safe. You expected a small chaos like a coffee cup without a coaster leaving a ring on rich wood instead you got Mentos in Coca Cola and the explosive mess was just too hard to clean up because you never learnt about that bit in chemistry lessons.

Extinguished

I set myself on fire wanted to burn myself to ashes but you wouldn’t let me. You came in trying to extinguish my flames first water, next foam then gas but nothing was quite enough. Nothing could stop the burning emptiness inside, a hollow chest, a heart that was only beating. I yearned to feel the burning so I filled myself with toxic substances and managed to feel it only on water with a crowd of support around me. Scarred from a numbness where the world was grey, no black, no white, no colour. The gas and the water and foam just detached the flames further away from anything I had ever known. No joy no pain no sadness just a heart beating but not feeling just a brain begging to feel something other than numb. Tears spilt for no reason other than it was all I wanted to do. In the process of trying to burn myself so I could finally feel, I burnt you too, I only singed myself but I wanted to set myself alight to feel alive again and that my heart was beating for a reason. I never meant to burnt you, you was supposed to come out me with water and then extinguish but you never did.