Birthday

It’s your birthday today. 52. That’s how many candles you would be blowing out but he has to do it without you now. The first time ever and he won’t get to speak to you on the 14th April, a day you both shared together in some way for your entire lives. The anniversary of when you both entered this crazy planet, you first of course. Always did have to be the first, didn’t you? 

We all feel a little lost without you and I have missed you more than ever over the past few months, I want to talk to you about my job and the situation before. I miss you so much, it still hurts six months later. I  still tear up when I hear that song by ELO and it’s crazy because it’s one of the most upbeat songs. 

 You enriched my life and so I would have loved to show you that on today of all days. But you’ve gone hopefully to a better place, and I know it did it just after you left but I’m going to do the poem thing again. 

Please know that you’ve been in my thoughts all day and I hope you are spending it with the others who have left and who love and adore you wandering around blissful scenery. 

I’ll look after him and the rest for you, I promise. This day will never be the same for him and he doesn’t know how to feel. But we’ll toast you with a glass of red or scotch and I’ll wear some outfit that you can question or laugh at from up there. Yet your favourite shirt was yellow… and that is not a colour for everyone despite what Vogue is currently telling everyone.

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PAUSE

I’ve not written for a little while because I’ve felt I needed a break mainly for three reasons 

  1. Because my inspiration was running a little dry and I wanted to spend some time reading in order to improve my own work 
  2. Because I have been focusing on short stories and a basis for a couple of novels
  3. Because someone wasn’t too happy with what I had been writing, I normally never usually write about people I know at the time but with this one, I just wanted to let out and I never thought that person would actually read them. I have now deleted all the posts about solely them now because I never want to hurt anyone with my writing, my pen is not a weapon and I do not wish to use it that way. There is just one left about that situation because it is the one thing that hurt and offended me the most and I stand by that post and those actions being something that I would never ever do and although I can just about forgive those accusations and be friends with that person now, I still feel the message is important.

 I have returned home and feel a little inspired again, and some things have touched me more than I anticipated. We write because we have something to say, that’s what makes a writer, we feel a compulsion to say something with a pen so I’m going to continue to do that. 
Writing is what I’ve done since I learnt how to, it’s what I’ve always chosen to do given the option and I was so scared about showing it to anyone but with the encouragement of a few friends, I decided to start this blog and an Instagram for writing and the response form people I don’t know and my own friends has been great so I’ll definitely continue posting and should be back on the blogging bandwagon asap! 

Shadow Definition

And not so long ago, I was a shadow, full on the inside, within myself yet I hid my definition behind the sun’s ray. It made me doubt every thought, every word, the light shining on me made me want to run feeling awkward and unsure, the heat gave me red cheeks and sweaty palms. Gradually, I realised life should be lived in the light, the heat made me shed my layers and I catapulted out of the darkness turning my shadow in to a reflection of the girl I had always known.

Circle line

Stepping carefully down the slippery steps of the station down to the platform not wanting to fall in to you. Treading carefully behind the yellow line to mind the gap and debating which carriage to take not committed yet. 

Jumping on and our train blasts off like a bullet, going so fast, I can’t catch a breath. Inevitably, our train eventually derailed, too far, too quick. 

We got on different trains to avoid colliding again but eventually gained courage to mind our way when descending to the platform. 

Rush hour pushed us in to one another and resurrected us and just as suddenly, the darkness of the tunnel hit us. 

But that’s the thing darling, the circle line always was my favourite. 

Choose humanity <3

Today, humanity was seen in many acts of kindness around the world as it is everyday but today an extraordinary act of humanity was performed amongst the chaos of a horrendous and utterly horrific terrorist act in my favourite city in the world, London. Today, a terror attack took place in the heart of London, Westminster. A police officer amongst others was shot, in an unusual act, a Tory MP, Tobias Elwood performed CPR to try and save his life while doctors and nurses from local hospitals literally ran to the scene to offer help. In this kind of situation, we are reminded that while we all see the world differently, we all have difficult political and other beliefs, we can all pull together in times of trouble no matter our differences. And it is days like this where we need to hear stories like this the most. However, those that initiated this attack was also because of a difference of political belief so just as we are reminded that we can all pull together in this event, it is up to us to show that people with different views can still live side by side and create a world where difference occurs but is treated with respect and graciousness for each other and humanity.

We built buildings, we build bridges of grand design and yet, some of us still try to destroy them with guns, knives and bombs. In some parts of this world, people are fortunate enough to have this kind of event happen infrequently and for it to become a massive headline around the world featuring even it’s own #PrayFor however other parts are not so lucky and this is the norm. Everyday, they endure the pain of not knowing whether their loved ones are safe, whether their school will still be there or their once flourishing city will still be standing or under attack. Their governments are beyond corrupt and there are so many forced to fight for something they don’t believe in and then endure their own rebelling against them ripping cities apart with machine guns and explosions because of a greed and their narrow mindedness thinking everyone should observe a certain way of life yet only they can break the rules.

Did we learn nothing from the past? Our civil wars that tore countries apart, left bullet holes in buildings and one region wealthy but another in poverty? There is no equality where blood is shed, the victims go much further than the body that hits the ground.

 

So choose humanity and unite. Whether it’s London, Syria, Iraq or another country where people’s way of life is compromised because of a power trip by a certain few, keep them in your thoughts, count your blessings and do what you can to restore the faith of the human race. Too many innocent lives have paid for crimes they did not commit. Blame not one race or religion but those who believe taking away people’s freedom in such a manner is the right way to empower themselves.For, know that where there is just one act of kindness, it can inspire many and that is the humanity I choose to believe in, the version where love trumps hate, where people are inspired to fight for what they believe in.A world where humans see each other as just another soul trying to make their way through this crazy world instead of labelling them as something or judging them without really knowing them.

I want to live in a world where people can move freely through life from one place to another without it being questioned or searched as a result of their looks, religion, disabilities or sexuality.

The Earth we walk upon deserves better, our ancestors who fought for our freedom previously should be lessons in how nothing is ever solved by waging a war, blood is always shed, innocents are always affected. So stand for something more, treat those around you with respect and let’s show those miscreant few that we are better because we stand together as result of love and radiate peace amongst these godforsaken kingdoms.

Here is a link to the Syria appeal if you would like to offer support, be it in the form of monetary donation, raising awareness or volunteering your time.

Link to the Red Cross Syria appeal: http://www.redcross.org.uk/Donate-Now/Make-a-single-donation/Syria-Crisis-Appeal/Syria-Crisis-Appeal-search?gclid=CjwKEAjwwcjGBRDj-

 

Stoplights

This one is for my Daddy who picked me up after every shift and every social gathering if he could always, who moves me from house to house in Sheffield and always drives to see me. ❤

We approach the roundabout and the lights go red,
you’ll be moaning about people only using one lane.
But it is the perfect time of day for us to stop,
we admire the iridescent colours of the sky as the sun decides where to end the day,

We’ll be talking about our jobs,

or Mum and Rich, you’ll give me advice

or maybe we’ll be have the radio turned up and

be singing along to I Wanna Know What Love Is

at the tops of our voices,

or perhaps you’ll be whistling the tune &

I’ll sing along to Zip pe doo dah

and it will have been a wonderful day

even if it’s just for this end bit,

dinner will be on the table

and Mum will be watching her soaps

but before all that, before the chores,

we witness a sun setting and conclude

our separate day’s events together,

just us in the Astra with the sun,

at some red lights about to join everyone else

returning from a day of work to homes

full of love and homecooked food.